I think have an identity-crisis (humour me, it’s something to do on a chilly day in November).
Maybe I should ask my other selves to see what they think…?
Although I would like to think I’m Hugh Jackman (as would most blokes, I suspect), the sad truth is I’m probably more tangerine than wolverine – or perhaps Zelig….
Over the years, I have been mistaken for, or likened to an amusingly diverse bunch of celebrities. Here’s the bona fide list to date. Do you recognise this man?
Most recently, Julian Assange (Prince Albert, Stroud)
Jamie Oliver (Slad Valley)
Indiana Jones (same walk, Slad Valley)
David Walliams (Green Gathering)
Gandalf (in the street)
Arnold Schwarznegger (Northampton)
Perhaps I am in fact a Time-Lord (topical, google-friendly link #36) and can regenerate myself… Number 11 (Time-lord, not Bus) is hails from Northampton – damn your cheekbones, Matt Smith, the Tardis should have been mine!
Sadly, I know I won’t get a look in now, not with Malcolm Tucker at the controls (‘Fuckity-bye, Dalek!’). To paraphrase Uncle Monty (played by the late great Richard Griffiths) from Withnail and I (another Whovian link coming up..) there’s a time in a man’s life when he realises he will never wield a sonic screwdriver. Weirdly (and wonderfully) Dr #8 (Paul McGann) co-starred in Bruce Robinson’s seminal (or similar unctuous fluid) British comedy Withnail and I with Richard E. Grant (aka the Great Intelligence). This was an insidious influence on my tender art student self – and provided a role model for years to come. Perhaps this is the closest to my true self/selves?
More worryingly, I have been accused of bizarre and random things – I’ve done my share of those, but some I know I haven’t … like crashing a van (when I have never driven) – and ‘spotted’ in places I know I haven’t been, which makes me think I have a doppleganger out there somewhere, enjoying a wilder, more hedonistic life. If you spot him out and about – beware! He’s probably on Facebook making improper comments and tagging himself in embarrassing photos. Do not approach this man!